Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Living on a PRAYER....

Well, My baby. My first born turned 8 yesterday. It's hard to believe that 8 years ago, his father and I were staring at him wondering how in the world we were going to mold this little life into a productive member of society. ACTUALLY, we weren't that deep. We were more amazed that they were actually going to let us take him home. BY OURSELVES. We were babies playing grownups....and we had to take care of a real baby. One that has to be fed and changed and all that stuff that we weren't really prepared to do.

We named him Jayden Wyatt. I picked Jayden and Greg picked Wyatt. Jayden was a name I had heard from actor Will Smith's son. I really liked it and it was much better than Greg's pick....ZANE! Actually, there is nothing wrong with the name Zane. It's perfectly acceptable for a little boy...however all that kept going through my head was the "InZane in the membrane. InZane in the brain" song by Cypress Hill. I didn't want to be thinking about that every time I looked at my son. we loved him. He was obviously the most beautiful baby ever born. Ok...every mother thinks this and I fully admit that I might have been blinded by love and exhaustion but even the nurses in the nursery were fighting over who got to hold him. He was so big and chunky...with a perfectly round head. And his skin? He has my olive complexion and it was so smooth. His pursed lips were so, have a look for yourself....

If that's not baby perfection, I don't know what is. (all you mothers, feel free to disagree with me...I know that you also possess the worlds most cutest baby in your home)

Over the last 8 years, we've made mistakes as parents but Jayden has survived. We've had scares that have brought us to our knees in prayer. We've help him though shots and check ups. Cried with him while he's been sick, comforted him through asthma attacks....broke down through the ones that landed us in the emergency room. I rocked him and cried as the events of 9-11 unfolded, scared and grateful that we had decided to stay in Florida ONE MORE DAY....and then worried about Greg as he drove all the way from Indiana like a bat out of hell to get to us the next day.

We've had first words ( 7 months), first steps, first days of school....and I know that there will be many more to come.

We have promised to God, him and ourselves that we will do our absolute very best to raise him. We want him to know God, be a fair and conscientious human, feel for the less fortunate and be grateful for what his has. We know that these are high expectations but we are confident that the Lord will be right here with us, the third parent. And we will be there for Jayden. All of us.

So...when we see him struggling with the local school system, we cringe. When his teachers care more him passing tests and less about the quality of learning, we are frustrated. I want to foster a life long love for learning and we just feel like he is not getting this from his school.

We did some soul-searching. We do have options....We could try to sell our house and move to a different school system. Except that the market is pretty much in the toilet and any public school system will have to meet the same standards set by Indiana and the "NO Child left behind act" (Sorry George...I feel like this could prove to be the most detrimental thing you did in office) and we could just end up in the same position.

We could home school him. I AM home all day and I feel fairly confident I could at least get him through the elementary years. However...I don't want to do that. I loved school. I made some life long friends. I loved all the activities I got to participate in. Friday night football games, dances, was all a blast and I don't want my kids to miss out on that. In fact, I would be worried about my kids socially and emotionally.

Finally, there is private school. There are so many pros....smaller classes, God centered learning, social activities, more parental involvement with the curriculum. Uniforms!!! YAY for uniforms. The cons? They are few yet they are the most profound. There is no bus that means taking them and picking them up every day. It's SUPER expensive. We definitely can't afford it and yet I feel comfortable that we will. Like the Lord is telling me that it's the way to go.

What will we do? I don't know. We are praying about it. Meeting with principles and researching every single penny we have...trying to see if we can quite possibly squeeze more out of our already tight budget. So...if you think about it, add us and our decision to your list of prayers....

We can sure use it.

much love!!

1 comment:

blessedmama said...

awwww - praying as you make your decision!!
beautiful post.