Friday, September 26, 2008

Days 13 and 14....

Here I am, virtually half of a month into this Skinny Bitch experiment. And I have to tell you, aside from the 10 day long bout with the-stomach-virus-from-hell, I am feeling pretty good these days. The last two days have been pretty uneventful...I have pretty much stuck to the diet, although I have added some organic diary products and meat products back into my diet. Also, I have found that everything tastes better if you smother it in salsa.

I am still trying to give up all food with wheat gluten in them, AND THIS IS HARD. Take a gander at the foods in your pantry and just see how much of them have wheat, wheat gluten, flour, or some other type of wheat product in them. It's absolutely crazy and makes me feel very sorry for anyone person who has Celiac disease and not just a suspected sensitivity like me. And I just have a hunch, based on problems I have that are not fixed by thyroid meds and family I have not been diagnosed with anything.

We have a very busy weekend planned and I am a little concerned about how to stick to this crazy, made up diet that I have created for myself without looking TOO much like the freak that I am. First of all, Greg and I had "BRIEFLY" entertained the idea of going away this weekend because our (OH MY GAWD) ninth anniversary is coming up on October 9 and every other weekend is already taken up. Then, we found out that one of his reserve officers is getting married and Greg is to be officiating the ceremony. YES. That's right. I said officiating the ceremony. Guess there will be no weekend long love-fest for our anniversary this year. I better get a cruise next year or there will be HELL to pay! That's all I am saying.

Greg is a reverend. He became a reverend after seeing a question about how you can become ordained in under two minutes on Jeopardy. Seriously. It took two minutes and he printed his certificate right off the internet. It's quite funny. It was meant to be a "haha...lets hold Monday night poker meetings and call it church because it's tax deductible" or "bless you, my child" when someone sneezes....BUT these people are serious and really wanted Greg to marry them and I hope they know what they have gotten themselves into.

That means that tonight, I have to go to the rehearsal and play the preacher's wife...and tomorrow, I have to go to the wedding and play the supportive wife. And I am not too excited about it. First, why is it always up to the wife to line up child care? Whenever Greg wants to do something, he always looks at me and says.."what are you going to do with the kids?" So I spend a week or two trying to find someone we trust to watch them, usually coming up short and having to stay at home. This time......I found child care. Yay me! But, it's a lot of dragging my kids from place to place, trying to get Jayden to a very important birthday party tomorrow, and making sure that when they drop him off after the party that somebody is here and can take him to grandmas...because I will be out playing the supportive wife.

Second, I am not very proud of my appearance right now. I don't have anything to wear and I don't have time to shop. My hair needs cut....and summer highlights have grown out. I will basically look frumpy and I HATE THAT. What can I say, I am vain. I admit, I ask God for forgiveness for it everyday. I would prefer to hide from the world then go out and feel uncomfortable. I just hate myself at the moment and I am afraid that I embarrass my Husband (who still looks totally hot and hasn't really changed much since we got married...except for maybe a little less hair...but he's so tall,nobody can see that). I have zero self-esteem. I don't know where this came from....I used to be a pretty confident person.

Third, I will have to sit by myself while he does the ceremony and then spend the reception by myself while he lives it up with his police officer buddies. Sounds like a blast. NOT that I am not thrilled for this couple. They are awesome and I love the bride (especially one particular story involving squealing tires and the words "fuck stick") She is a hoot. BUT I will not be hanging out with the bride for obvious reasons. When I go to a wedding where I don't know the majority of people, I prefer to just go the ceremony and make an appearance at the reception to drop off the gift and then get the heck out of dodge.

OH's just one night and I guess I should be the obediant wife for my Husband.....although I am pretty sure that he wouldn't do the same for me. jerk! ha ha ha! (That and I really want a new Nano..because my old nano..the one that I just got last christmas is not nearly as cool as the new ones and I will be more likely to convince him to buy me one IF he is not aggrivated at me for flaking out on him) And that whole story fills you in on the how I will find it difficult to stick to this meat, bread....what else is there at a wedding and rehearsal dinner? I think I will just eat before I go to both events and then put just enough on my plate to not look like I am ungrateful...push it around a little and fill up on drinks. Not alchohol...because SOMEBODY will have to drive the drunken minister home! haha! just kidding. I think we are taking the police car...which I can't drive. On second thought...I'll have some wine please!! Red! Thanks! oh..wait...doesn't alcohol have wheat in it? or at least yeast, which is a product of wheat..right? Oh man, I'll have to google that because if it does..THAT. WILL. SUCK. to the nnnnth degree. I don't drink much but I do enjoy a nice glass of wine.

AND Of coarse, I will turn down the cake. I will be "too full."

It's torture. I hate skinny bitches. and...I'll let you know how it goes.

No comments: