Tuesday, January 6, 2009

My brother HAD a girlfriend.

My brother had a girl friend. HAD a girlfriend.

A few weeks before Christmas, my brother (age 17) came home and declared he had a girl friend. She is a sophomore and said she had been crushing on him since he moved here. You know how high school relationships go...they get serious in about a minute and the next thing I know, he is spending as much free time with the girl as he can.

Apparently this girl was grounded and couldn't go anywhere, so my brother was spending a lot of time at their house. He was coming home WREAKING of cigarette smoke and telling stories of the teenage girls beating each other up for the fun of it, the mom using the "F" word and calling her daughters stupid and of her very obnoxious bratty little sister named...Well I won't tell you her name but let's just say it's very distinctive and I knew exactly who he was talking about.

You see, this little sister is in the second grade with Jayden. They used to be in the same class in Kindergarten. As a chaperon that year for a field trip to Connor Prairie, I had four kids in my group. And you guessed it, she was in my group. Let me just make one thing clear...I am not judgemental. I don't care what you have, what you don't have. Rich or poor, ugly or beautiful...that's all outside stuff. And when it comes to children, it matters to me even less. But this day..I felt very sorry for this girl. We were going to Connor Prairie in APRIL. It was raining and only 50 degrees out and she was sent to school without a jacket. That wouldn't be such a big deal if we weren't going to be walking around outside all day. She also needed her hair brushed and her shoes were torn and missing shoe strings. Just plain parental stupidity. So me being the outspoken person I am, I asked the teacher if she always came to school like this and she just gave me the look that said "this girl has retards for parents" I mean come on people, you can be poor but not stupid. Brush your kids hair and dress them appropriately for things. I am pretty sure Goodwill has clothing for cheap (not gonna lie...we shop there sometimes) and if you can't afford Goodwill...there are places you can go to for help.

So I went back to my car, found another of Jayden's jackets for her to wear (he was not happy about that) Dug around in my purse for a comb and rubber band. I brushed and french braided her hair and you could tell that she felt so special. She was glued to my side the whole day. I even gave her most of my packed lunch because YEP! They sent her to school that day without the required sack lunch.

Anyway...back to my brother. So I realize that he is dating this little girl's sister. Immediately, I know that this will not end well. And I was right:

Brother got home from a 2wk visit to my parents on Friday. He comes in and I think that he is going to go over to Girlfriend's house. He surprises me by saying NO, he told her he'll see her on Saturday afternoon. I was like "WHAT?" and he said that she called him at least 10 times a day while he was gone and it really got on his nerves. Half the time, he didn't even answer the phone.

Saturday comes and he makes plans to spend the afternoon with her. I guess they went out to family dinner at Pondagrossa...I mean Pondarosa and then the two were going to a movie.
Girlfriend's 14 year old sister rode with them to the restaurant. She was begging to go to the movies with them and they said no....WHY? because it was their first date and they wanted to go alone. DUH! Later, this sister gets mad and cries to her grandparents who then tell Girlfriends parents that Brother was being mean to little sister.

They go to the movies, Brother brings Girlfriend to my house to meet us...then he takes her home. She had to be home by 9. SHE'S 17 and has to be home by 9??? wtf? Brother pulls in the drive, drops her off and hurries back because we had company and family at our house that he wanted to visit with.


Before Brother can get back home, Girlfriends mom starts calling him..Demanding that he come back. They have to talk. Brother says no, I have to get home. She then threatens to drive over and "have a talk with HIS SISTER" and Brother says "go ahead, come talk to my sister. But I can tell you she is not going to be happy. We have company." She rants and raves, cussing...all that stupid stuff and threatens to be at out house in 10 minutes. Brother hangs up on her. Girlfriend calls him back and is crying, begging Brother to be at their house at 10 am in the morning or it's over. Brother says he doesn't know if I will let him but he'll try.

Well, I told brother not to go. Those people do not get to decide what he does, I do. But he goes anyway...I wasn't out of bed yet. Apparently, they were mad because he didn't want to take the other sister to the movies. They were also mad because when they said that Girlfriend had to be home at 9 they meant that she really had to be home at 8:50 and that Brother should have come inside and stayed for a while. He tells him he didn't mean to hurt sister's feelings, he's sorry and now he knows what they expect and it won't happen again. Is this good enough for those people? NOPE!

They proceeded to lecture him on how he dropped her off and drove away..LIKE A PIECE OF TRASH. There was cussing, Telling the daughter that if she didn't like the rules to get the fuck out...more stupid stuff. After a 40 minute lecture, the mom tells Brother that his punishment for being stupid is that if he wants to take Girlfriend out that the mom has to go. Brother will have to pay for everything and drive so that they can "waste his gas". The mom will sit in the front, Girlfriend will sit in the back. This will go on for a month. She then says she's done and tells brother that he can go sit with girlfriend in the other room now. Brother tells them he has to leave because he has to go to church. He ignores Girlfriends phone calls all day. That night, Greg and I talk to Brother and say "look, these people seem crazy. If they have a rule they want you to follow, they can just tell you. There does not have to be all this drama" We also told him that we are not going to tell him to break up with Girlfriend but he will not be allowed at her house anymore. He is also not allowed to drive her sisters anywhere either. He's almost 18, he doesn't need to be responsible for those young girls. If Brother wants to hang with Girlfriend, he can bring her to our house. Brother decides that there are plenty of other fish in the sea and he is just going to break up with her....but he feels bad and doesn't want to hurt Girlfriends feelings.

Fast foward to yesterday, Brother goes to school and writes Girlfriend a note and tells her that he's breaking up with her. He tells her he didn't appreciate her mom calling him a piece of trash and he doesn't have to put up with all their rules and yelling and cussing. Girlfriend gets mad and calls her mom, tells her mom that Brother is going around calling her white trash.

The mom calls Brothers phone..HE IS AT SCHOOL, MIND YOU. and leaves him a nasty message...it almost sounds like a threat.

She then calls me:

Me: Hello
Her: It this "brother's" sister?
Me: Yes, who's calling?
Her: This is "Girlfriends" mom
Me: Oh Hi, what can I do for you?
Her: Do you know what's going on? Girlfriend just called me and is crying, said Brother broke up her and called her white trash. I wanted to know if you could tell me what happened.
Me: Uhh...NO! He's at school, I generally don't talk to him when he's supposed to be in class.
Her: Well Girlfriend called me. I liked Brother but not if he is going to act like this. I thought he had manners but he ain't got no more fuckin manners than my fuckin ex husband.
Me: Hold on, I'm getting my daughter dressed for preschool. (uses the few seconds to collect my thoughts and stay calm)
Me: Well, I think he was just upset over what happened Saturday. We didn't think there was any reason for everyone to be so mad at him...If you have a rule that you want him to follow, he needs to know the rule before you can get angry at him over it.
Her: BITCH I'll tell you what...When your daughter starts dating, see how you like it when some guy fucking drops her off on the door step like a piece of shit.
Me: I don't think Brother thinks of her like that, I understand if you expect him to bring her in and stay but there is no reason to yell and cuss......

Click. She hung up on me.

I call Greg and tell him. He was working at the school. He goes into the school, pulls Brother out of class and questions him on what happened. He said he never called her white trash. He said he hasn't even talked to her. Didn't plan on talking to her. Greg tells brother that he just needs to steer clear of her, don't talk to her or about her. Don't say things to insult her and you don't need to tell your buddies what's going on. Just leave it alone. It's over. Leave it at that.

That's when Brother said that Girlfriends mom called him and left him a nasty message. Also, he has been receiving text messages from a number he doesn't know telling him that he better come over to Girlfriends house after school to talk. So, Greg tells him to save all the messages and texts just in case and don't answer the phone or reply. Just ignore them. Greg sends Brother back to class.

Greg then calls girlfriends mom. He was trying to tell her that it's over, just let it go. Don't call Brother, tell Girlfriend to stop calling brother. The mom demands to know "just what in the fuck he's going to do about Brother calling her white trash." Greg says that he just got finished talking to Brother and he didn't call Girlfriend white trash. And then Greg got more of what I got....irrational yelling, cussing and then she hung up on him as well. Luckily, we didn't hear any more from them....that we can prove anyway. Brother had several missed calls from a private number but we can't prove who made those calls.

This comes back to my original statement about me not being judgemental. I am not. But what is more WHITE TRASH than what transpired? I mean seriously...

Much love!


Jenni Haehl said...

Oh my Gosh!!!! I hate saying this, but these are some SCARY people! I don't even want to think of what goes on in that home behind closed doors considering how they openly treat others. Doesn't it make you wonder why others act like that and what makes them think it is normal?!?!?!?! CRAZY CRAZY PEOPLE!!!

Benjamin Bass said...

holy crap!

People are seriously f*d up.